Hello, everybody and welcome back to the pursuit of purpose Podcast. I'm Melissa Keh. And my goodness, so excited to be here with you guys today for this episode. I also can't believe that it is. end of June. That's bananas. I thought it was the beginning of June like a day ago. I don't know if anyone else time is like zipping by and summer always just seems to like amplify how quickly things go. But I'm like in this, I'm like, this dude will struggle with summer of you know, it's nice. So I want to be active. I want to like see people and go to patios and be hiking and whatever but I also am like, holy crap, slow down. Not me, but like summer, because I feel like the faster we pack and plan everything in summer, it's just like, boom, like, it's it's September. It's Labor Day, which is so sad. And kind of one of those things where you just like, you know what you're doing every single weekend. In summer already. I basically do except for maybe two weekends, which is scary. Anyways, I'm not shooting on summer. We love summer. I just feel like I'm a bit all over the place. So I don't know if that's some of you too, but like my focus has been not there. Maybe I'm just excited for everything coming in summer. I don't really know. But if you look at my Chrome history, my holy Lanta it's a bunny hole of a whole bunch of different things for multiple hours like a couple hour bunny hole on looking up arrows tour outfits. Another one on I don't know some I couldn't even tell you right now. So if anyone else has space brain, let me know that might just be me. Maybe it's the heat I don't know. But we are excited. It is summer we are loving life I hope that you guys are too and you have some really fun things planned for Yeah, for all your summer. For me actually, it's been lovely to be back from my Europe trip and just kind of get into like the thick of things of work and being really excited about it which is a nice change of pace because a lot of times we get really bogged down and we had a kind of like kickoff to summer here where I live just the community that's around did a block party this past weekend, which I don't know if you guys have block parties or have done that but you basically do a party on your street. And before someone's like well that blocks traffic. I live in a cul de sac because so little circle thingy with only one way in one way out. So when we set up basically we just can just take over the street because we all live there so no one's going anywhere and set up a whole bunch of tables and we had like a theme and it was Mexican fiesta something some so Mexican everything really fun yummy food and set aside get to know your neighbors because you pass each other all the time but you like never talk and you just wanders wave and like I know I've lived by that person for years, I still don't know their name and it's too late to ask because ah Kotoko Hey, that's Mexican he. So yeah, we just hung out for like a long time got to chat. Some of my neighbors have known since No, like I've lived here and other ones are quite new and you bring out the propane fire when it gets cold at night. And everyone's just like hanging out talking till past midnight. It's it's fun. If you've never been on done a block party and you don't know your neighbors, I honestly suggest doing on just like throw some fliers around and go knock on your neighbor's doors and be like, hey, like let's have a party because it's really fun, especially if they have kids or anything like do projector movies on someone's garage. And now I'm making you as a party planning episode. So we're gonna bring move on from this. But reason I bring that up is well one get just summer kickoff. But it was actually really nice talking to some of my neighbors who I haven't for a long time. And you know, a lot of them are asking where I was what I was doing, or what I am doing right now with like work and whatever. That's classic catch up stuff. And what I found was really interesting was like, the more that I talked about what I've been doing with the podcast and with my business and like what I really want to grow, because I know that's you know, my purpose and the direction I want to move in. It's funny how before the words are coming out of my mouth, I'm like pre judging what someone's opinion is going to be of that. And I realized after this weekend, and again, these are people I haven't really talked to you that much so strangers for lack of a better word in terms of my everyday life. Right. And I always think that we have we have this fear of judgment for putting out like, what our innate desires are or like passion projects or whatever we're working on. We think like someone's going to have an opinion about that. And I realized after this weekend one I got just so much supportive that and like that's amazing. Like, it's great. You're doing that keep doing that that seems to totally like you, which is great. I like affirmation and validation, for sure. Not necessary, but good. But what was curious for me a bit is how much we don't think that that's going to happen. Like we're doubting everything that we are doing ourselves, and especially if the project or whatever endeavor you have is entrepreneurial or against the grain, but in nature, compared to what everyone else is doing. So could be anything it could be, you're doing music production, you are being an actor, you, you are starting your own succulent class business. I'm making things up right now. That anything that's like against the grain, and we always think that, like someone's gonna have flocked to say about it. And I found that, actually, I really never got that. Because when the desires and the plan I have I've spoken to has been, like, really aligned with who I am. Everyone was always like, Oh, that makes sense, right. And that should just be more, I'm realizing that should just be more clues for me of, oh, I am doing something that is aligned with what my innate calling purposes because we all get a vibe for who people are and like what special quality they really bring to the world, right? And I think it's very obvious when they're doing something that is quite different than that. And so when they do make a change, and they're like, oh, no, I'm suddenly like, one of my friends in business school is now like a singer and an actor and pursuing that. And I'm like, Duh, that makes sense, even though I met him in business school. So we always like, have that vibe of people. And yeah, I don't know, it was just like, really interesting. validation on that, and that kind of cool reflection of, oh, the thing that I'm always fearing and thinking about, or that we're all like we all are, when, you know, there's something maybe that we are scared to share, because it's like, it feels like someone's going to laugh at it because it is air quotes against the grain. Really, I don't know, I'm also an absolute dick. Like, most of the time, people like that makes sense. So use that as clues for you. And like, take the chance on sharing your truth and sharing like your authenticity with other people. Because what you get back really is Yep, that makes sense from a lot of them. But yeah, we haven't, like I have I was having a couple of these conversations. And just, you know how things pivot, I think when you come out of formal education, and you start understanding more of yourself, and like what you care about, and what you want to do, because you go through 18 years of being told what you want to do. And it's only now, since being out of formal education, I'm not knocking school because I love school. But it's only now since being out of that formal education where it was prescribed for us, like we didn't choose really what we were doing. Even honestly, college university like were shoved in a direction by how we're groomed in high school even. It's only now since then, that in being in the working world that I do see the reality of why the idea of having a safe job is a complete myth. So that is what today's episode is all about why the idea of a safe job is a myth. I've got so many thoughts on this. So we are about to get into it. So get ready. And the reason why I think it's important to debunk this and just throw this out in the open is that a lot of times we stay stuck and hide behind this idea, we have a what is a safe choice, and it holds us back a lot of the times from doing what we know we truly want to do and are meant to do. And that's the last thing I want for any of you to experience like especially I care but you guys so much. And that is the last thing I want for any of you. So we are going to shed some light on this today. And I am really curious to hear what you guys think about it after. So, if you agree, if you disagree, I'm gonna have a like q&a question and a poll at the bottom. The Spotify things if you're on Apple, I don't know if you can do it on there. But go share your quick thoughts after the episode. How it clicks with you or like if you have differing opinions, because I'm actually really curious. So okay, to understand why it is a myth. We first got to I think we're all back and go back to why do we grow up believing in this idea of a safe job anyway, because I think when I say that everyone can relate to that, right? So we're not taught in school to bank on and give weight to our abilities and our talents and our passions and interests and get the support to help stoke the fire on those, you know, until you burn with them like a big flame. We kind of have these little flickers when we're kids and I mean those who are fortunate enough to have a community both academic and family that nurture that I am. That's amazing. But majority of the time we're not we have this little flicker and it's there and it gets put out by the world. So yeah, we're not like we are ignored, or our authentic kind of sparks I find are ignored, especially by school systems. So we're taught that instead, to survive in the world, we have to look at what it values. And what it says is worth something and then fit the pieces of us, we think could match into that mold. And we sort of like cramming pieces of ourselves into the shape that I think of it like a cake pan and one of those like, cool. Like character shapes, I don't know why that's coming to mind. But anyway, we're like mashing ourselves into the mold, right. So it's no wonder that we end up confused when we leave high school, like, we have no idea who we are, because 80% of the frickin time. We're not even recognized for our own beautiful strengths and OS authenticity that we have, in the like quirks and interests that we have. But we're only celebrated and praised for how well we learn to fit ourselves into that mold. And into that pen. Right, the time that you get celebration, or accolades or whatever is when you've done well to fit that to adapt. Janani even adapt, actually, that's the wrong word for it, but like to transform into whatever was most beneficial for the overall system. We all take the same courses, right in school, like the same interests, and we're all supposed to or be expected to do well, and all of them. And this was really funny. When I was in school, I had the privilege of like, school did come really naturally to me, like I didn't have to try that hard. But I absolutely can tell you which classes I didn't give a shit about, and which ones like I actually genuinely had an interest in. I just did well and all of them, because that's what they told me to do. So I learned how to do it, right. That's what we do as kids. But I also very distinctly remember having friends that, for example, math, I like math, I think it's amazing what like how it fundamentally creates a structure for our understanding of the world, like IE physics, we're not gonna get into that. I liked math, I was good at math, I get numbers, I had friends whose families really expected them to be good at math, like you need a 90 900% or whatever, or you're a piece of shit. But their best there, if they were trying their absolute freaking hardest, their best was like an 85. And I would always be like, That is amazing. If they got like an ad or something, I was so proud of them. But their immediate thought was not to celebrate them trying hard. It's something that was out of their comfort zone, or out of their forte, it was just like shit on themselves, because they knew that that wasn't going to be celebrated. Because that wasn't enough. enoughness was a whole other tangent. But like, we were all expected to do really well, at the same things every single kid in school has to go through math. And we're expected to all be 100% at that when I can guarantee God did not make 100% of the population, supposed to be good at math, supposed to be good with analytics and numbers and like logical processing. So the way that school is designed, and I get why it is that way. But there's no individuality of the specific learner celebrated, okay, or encouraged or fostered, really, to grow. So, again, just trying to tie this back to like, why we think about the safe job thing the way we do. It comes from how we are taught and what we are celebrated for and what we are not celebrated for or what aspects of us are not. So the truth at the universal core is that we are each designed with such incredible gifts and talents and callings for our lives that only we can fulfill uniquely in our own way. And we feel safe in pursuing what they told us would keep us safe in life because that's all we've ever really been taught to believe, to trust, you know, in the way that everyone else does things rather than our own inner guidance that we have. Like we're not even taught to listen to that we're taught to just listen other people. Not to mention that we're constantly reinforced that those things, ie stable income, reputation, blah, blah, blah, number game, whatever, our key to survival, like they pound that in your head that, you know, if I don't follow along, I'm going to be homeless and die or something like our small kid brains receive that. It's all fear mongering, I'm not gonna go like extreme here, but that is the at least that's the sense I had is like, if you don't have these things in your life, if you don't have a house, if you don't have family, if you don't get married, if you don't have a good job, then put money in your retirement blah, blah, blah, blah, things that are important, okay, but if you don't do them, you are not going to survive. And so our subconscious brain before seven, right everything written to our subconscious, we are just a walking talking subconscious brain up until the age of seven. So we hear that as truth and whether you consciously recognize it now as an adult or not, your brain still thinks like I need these things or I will die like or I will not survive or I will just be like on the fringes and Whatever. So we better subscribe to the system, if we don't want that to happen. I mean, contradict me if that didn't happen for you, but certainly happen for me and like in the western world with a lot of my friends, and just whoever I talk to you nowadays, and we do feel safer in that, truly, but simply because we've never been taught growing up to actually trust ourselves. Also, we've been just taught to trust what they've told us. And to understand that we have intuition, like we have a map within us that is literally telling us all the time, when we feel lit up by something, and vice versa, when we're completely drained by something else and can't stand it. And it takes us off and yatta yatta yatta. And also what we're gifted at or really have a passion for and the things that we don't like, we know that we know what that feels like, though we're taught that that feeling is no compass, it's just the fields. You know, what we tell you in school, we tell you from this system, that is your compass, that's your compass to live life live by. And so we ignore that voice. And we say to ourselves inside, oh, that was nothing, I didn't hear anything. Nope, fine dining, get the twinging at the knowledge. And we forget how to even feel that. Because we are never told to listen to anything except for the narrative of the society at large. We are told to doubt our own guidance, truth, truth and facts, and to not listen to that voice. But instead, listen to all of our teachers and leaders and parents and everyone else who plays by that system. And I'm not making them out to be bad, like we are all we teach what we know. And the system runs like that. So maybe it's is easier just to play by that play by those rules, so to speak, it is harder to call outside of the lines because it's like that moment, or like in the movie where everyone's under like a simulation or something and you sort of you're the one that's awake and you start doing something different all the heads turn at you and they're like, What are you doing? It kind of feels like that if we are trying to do anything that that colors outside of those lines. So let's make this really practical for a second, okay, though, let's say you have a job that they teach you in school is really, really safe. Nowadays, like one of the teachers back then like business or doctors or whatever. But nowadays, let's go work in tech, maybe right? Like huge pay loads of amazing jobs, all the up and coming stuff. You can work for Google or Amazon or Apple or any of the other giants. And if you do that, and you do it well, you're untouchable, right, like your multi six figures, you're flying on a cloud, you got Tesla's coming out of your ass. Nevermind actually considering whether you like anything about tech. And meanwhile, like, the whole time in school, you really loved maybe performing arts and being on stage and making people laugh or something. No, you just hear work for tech growing up all your life. That's a safe job, Jimmy. That's where the money's at. That's what's gonna make mom and dad proud, and your family and your your future. Whatever they teach to aspired for that. And lo and behold, guess what career you work towards all through growing up, even though you love other things, like you're going to work towards that because that's what they told you what keep you safe. And guess what? Really amazing talents and passions you start to ignore, right? The ones that you are innately given those talents, those abilities, those things that no one else has. No one taught you, you just had them from day one. And you put them away. So you work your whole life by what they told you would make you safe. You get the degree you land the job at Google, which kudos, you move to Silicon Valley. But look what happened in 2022 alone. Do look up on Google right now. Over 350,000 $1,000 350,000 layoffs through Silicon Valley for tech that affected all of those huge companies I just listed. Like how safe was that whole journey now? The 2025 year, whatever journey you had to get there, and then go, what safety. I'm not different than anybody else who goes through education gets their job, and works and whatever. So here's the thing, guys, they've lied to us all of our lives. And I'm blaming anyone for that because that is the way the world works. But they've kept us focused on fear. And that lie when there really is no such thing as a safe job or a stable job. Because a twist of the economy, sliding conditions, some sort of recession. Bam. You are just as susceptible as everybody else. There's no one that's safe. You're just as disposable and you're just as replaceable. Wow, what a great episode. Aren't you all inspired? Stay with me, okay. There is nothing safe about working towards or in something that you don't truly love deeply in your heart. And equally, choosing your own path to follow your dreams isn't safe either. A lot of unknowns can happen, which I think you can you guys can all imagine. Imagine you can fail, you can succeed, which is also scary. And you'll have so many lessons to learn. But the only real truth I can tell you for certain is that no job is ever going to be safe. Safety is an illusion. I said it. And it's what I've realized now after chasing what they sold and told me on all my life, that this whole life is not about being safe. It is about following the calling that you have in your, in your heart, and taking a risk on that. And putting your trust in that. So you're probably like, thanks a lot. Mel would doom and gloom like nothing is safe. I'm doomed. Thanks. Cool signing off. No, no, not at all. Just wait for the surreal silver lining. Because if you've never thought about life like this, it's going to be one of the most liberating shifts you make. And I said, liberating for a reason, because it's going to make you feel a lot more free and a lot less stuck in like, this is what it has to be okay. So if we stop for a second entertain this idea like that, if we really don't have safety in any of the work we do, just entertain that idea for a second, then why are we doing it? You start to be able to ask yourself these questions, right? When you put that on the table? Why am I working to be a banker? When I hate math? And I'm no good at it? Why am I still at this job? That sucks my soul? When I know I've always dropped a blank. If I could do anything in my life right now and be taken care of and have everything I need doing it. Like all of that. I didn't have to worry, what would be the first thing that I'm doing? What would I sign up for? What would I be doing right now? For 95% of people? I think their answer is going to be no to a lot of that in kind of whatever response way, but like the negative. And if you're already listening to this episode, I know your answer is no. Right? You're here for a reason. See, when you realize or accept that the idea of Steve Jobs were just a myth, you actually give yourself the space to question what you're doing. So ask yourself this question seriously, like, stop the episode? I'll wait. Journal amount, get really, really honest with yourself about why you're doing what you're doing, or how or why you're not doing what you want to be doing. I bet you anything, it's going to come down to you feeling afraid, which is okay. Everyone, we all feel afraid. I feel afraid, like every day. It's okay. But also being scared that you're not going to have a safe job anymore, which is a belief, and one that is just keeping you a prisoner. Because if nothing is truly safe anyways, and you get one life to live and make incredible here. Why the fuck aren't you doing what you love, and what you're passionate about, and what you've drummed up, since you were little and convinced yourself out of the dreams that you packed up and put on the shelf because they didn't make sense. They didn't make sense to the system. And it makes sense to your parents. It didn't make sense to someone else. And I know I I'm speaking from a place of privilege to do that. And someone can say, Oh, well, there's others who can't make that choice. And that is true. But what's funny is, even in places where all circumstances were against them, you will still find people who believed enough in that, and in their truth and in what in what they were called for. And they did it anyway. So I get it, but also know. And a lot of the times, even if we do finally realize and believe that truth, a lot of the times what holds us back from changing anything is a combo of a lack of belief in yourself, and the lack of belief that what you desire is possible or feasible, you can be really afraid of what choosing to follow that path is going to take, you know that it might be hard and people might not agree with it. Honestly, they probably won't agree with it. And that's also fine too. And that there is maybe going to be resistance for you on your way which I can save you the surprise who and promise you that there will be you will have internal resistance from yourself and you will have external resistance, there's not just a free yellow brick road. But the greater the calling, the greater the resistance and the greater the resistance, the greater the growth. Only you know what sets your heart on fire. And if you are blessed enough to know what it is that makes you feel that way. What you feel like is a calling for you and your heart or maybe you don't even know what that calling is yet for you. But you know, deep down it's not this when you're in this place. You're at this thing that you're doing this thing that everyone and your parents expects out of you. If you know that and have that. First consider yourself so fortunate. so fortunate that you have that awakening and the understanding already, that you feel what that feels like, but second realize that it is your job to pursue it. We were not sent on this planet to make our parents proud. We weren't sent to get a degree that impresses the neighbors. We weren't sent solely to make millions of dollars and if you want to do that power to you but we weren't sent for that. We were sent with an assignment and a calling and a mission that only your silk and fulfill and only knows what it really truly is, the system should frickin doesn't. So if you're lucky enough to know what it is, and are sitting there waiting and wishing and stalling because you're scared of leaving your safe harbor, there's a quote by John shed, and I freaking love it. A ship and harbor is safe. But that's not what ships were built for. They were meant meant to sail out to sea, to take on waves in the ocean, whatever it throws at them, and cut through to their final destination. So the thing that's held you back from it all your life is you thinking that chasing it means turning away from a life of safety. Hear this as a PSA, that safety is an illusion, and your happiness is a choice. And at the end of the day, we are all going to die. So we better spend the limited days we have pursuing what sets our souls on fire. And know this too, if you think taking a shot and yourself and trusting your own heart and intuition and desires, if you think that that is the risk, I want to reframe it for you for a second. And just real life terms. If you know what you're doing is your absolute passion and calling and reason for being on the planet. Okay, how much room for failure? Is there? No, like? Absolutely not. Because if it's truly your soul's purpose, you're never going to stop until you've made that a reality, whatever the thing is, if you believe deep down, it's your calling. So you're literally destined for success. And so you may be like, Well, no, that's really easy to say like, I don't know that. And I felt that. And I feel that all the time. And I doubt myself in that. But like that is fundamentally the truth. If that is what you're here to do, you're not going to stop until you have succeeded at that. If you desire, it is destined for you. That's one of my favorite favorite quotes. And I repeat it to myself all the time to sink back into that belief, when I start to listen to my ego and go into the fear spirals. All you have to do is believe that to be true and put in the action also, okay, align action to get there. God does not give us a purpose that we're not meant to or equipped for realizing. Now, conversely, flip that for a second thing about if you pursue a path that they told you is safe, okay, the one that you know, was out of alignment for you from the beginning. But, you know, before you even understood what that meant. So for example, like the company, they told you to aspire for, and work so hard, up, up up above about for all those years, you know, until one day, that company tells you, you know, I'm sorry, we can't give you the promotion this year, or next year, or because you're a woman, or for whatever other reason, or worse. Sorry, you had to pack up your desk even like go for sessions hitting budgets are tight, sorry, not gonna do. Even though you worked so freaking hard day in and day out, work your ass off, and always thought you'd be safe there. Especially because you're such a good worker, right? Those limitations set, they weren't set there by you. And they're not ones that you have any power to change, you were at the mercy of them. But the whole time you were thinking it felt safe, even though you never had control. Because you were told it would be you were told it would be safe. That is not freedom, though, that is being at the mercy of conditions beyond your control. So it's a box around you and what you can ever accomplish or achieve. And doesn't that seem a hell of a lot more risky to pursue and put your faith in than trusting and believing in yourself and following your own guaranteed path. So I am not telling everyone to be calm and entrepreneur, if that's what you think I'm saying. Although I do think that is an amazing path to take. So props for all my entrepreneurs out there. You can pick whatever the heck path you want, if it's authentic to you. What I am saying though, is that everything they taught you growing up and everything school and our parents and society taught us to strive for and desire and obtain for all in the name of being safe. It was all to feed a system of adherence, and to make us scared and to make us seek out safety, safety in the system. which remember, is the space our ego wants us to remain in the Hangout and our ego wants to keep us safe. It wants to keep us comfortable. It doesn't want us stepping outside of those lines and having all the heads turn. So you've got like multiple things against us a system teaching us to be like that and an ego innately that wants to keep safe. So it just like it eats that shit up like it's desert, right? Are you telling me when I'm gonna be safe? Okay, let's do more of that. And to ultimately make us forget the truth that we know on ourselves from the beginning, a truth that we could hear when we were children about who we are in what we love and what we were meant to do here on Earth, that spark the sparks of joy that we had. We were taught to forget it and let go of it and put it away on the high shelf of the dream book. case and let it collect us there. So it's time for you to remember what that voice sounds like. And to pull it down off the shelf, dust off the dust. And remember that there is this inner voice of your intuition. Is it telling you you're meant for something else? Is it telling you to finally trust yourself? Because if it is, I want you to finally lesson let go of what you've always thought of as safe, okay? And realize that the safest and most guaranteed path you can ever walk in life is the one your soul is telling you, you were sent here to follow.

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